Rule 61 — Contentment is a High Aim

Are you addicted to the feeling of being “in love”? Do you constantly need to have that butterflies-in-the-stomach feel whenever you are with your partner?

If so, I bet you probably find yourself falling in and out of love ever so frequently.

Dear friends, please realise that the butterflies feeling cannot — or rather, does not — last for a very long time. After your relationship stabilises, that fluttering feeling will probably no longer exist. But that does not mean the love is gone.

In fact, for Rules players, this stage probably marks the start of the contentment stage. A stage whereby the couple will now find the relationship even more rewarding, fulfilling, warm, loving.

Strive for contentment in your relationship if you wish to have a long-term relationship.

Reflection: Contentment isn’t about fireworks, weak knees and flutteriness.

Rule 62 — Be Generous to Each Other Financially

How generous are you with your partner? Do you share what you have with them?

We did say in earlier Rules that a couple should have separate accounts. So why then are we asking you to be generous?

Well, it is simple. If you earn more, it is quite natural that you should pay more bills, buy more treats. We are not saying you feed your partner’s gambling addiction.

But if your partner needs some financial support, do you lend them? This can be a little trickier. You have to be practical — can you afford to give the money without affecting your own financial situation? Do you expect them to return it?

Be generous with your partner on a daily basis. But when it comes to the big-ticket items, consider all the necessary details.

Reflection: If you have more money than your partner, you need to pay for more.

Rule 63 — You Make a Choice Every Day

Every morning we wake up, we have a choice to have a great day or an average day.

The same applies to relationship. You made a choice to be in a relationship with a particular person. You made a choice to accept his or her strengths and flaws. You made a choice to stay or leave. It is all about your choice.

If you are in a toxic relationship and you still staying put, it is your choice. I doubt your partner put a leash around your neck and restrain you. You put that invisible leash around your own neck and somehow chose to stay on.

Make the choices which will make you happy.

Reflection: Recognise that you are responsible for being where you are now.

Rule 64 — Don’t Be A Martyr

Are you suffering in silence? If yes, this Rule is simply telling you to stop it.

If you are not happy with your partner’s behaviour, talk it out. Do not begrudgingly continue suffering in silence. It will not be healthy in the long run. You will soon suffer fatigue and start to hate your partner, your relationship, and probably even yourself.

Stop being a martyr and deal with your situation with your partner like a mature adult.

Reflection: If you let people find out, you are not actually being a martyr at all.

Rule 65 — You Don’t Both Have To Have The Same Rules

We are all different. Chances are their rules and yours are probably a tad different. And there is nothing wrong with that.

The Rule is here to remind you that you should acknowledge the different rules by which you function, and both partners should understand that.

If you are a morning person, then you be the one to make breakfast. If your partner is the night owl, make him or her clear out the last trash.

It is all about balance in the relationship. The balance need not happen on a daily basis. But if both of you are Rules players, things will balance out in the long run.

Reflection: The object here is to make your partner feel loved and cared for and to put them first.