Rule 41 — Go That Extra Step In Trying To Please Them

If you truly love your partner, this rule will seem a piece of cake.

If you love that person, what is going that extra mile? Why wait till he or she is unwell before you cook them a hot soup? Why wait till their birthday for a hand-written card?

Surprise them by doing their chores. Pleasure them with a massage after a long day. Take them somewhere just because you know they would love to go.

And such acts should be two-way. If you are on the receiving end of such sweetness, return the favour.

Reflection: Enough just isn’t enough. You should be doing more than enough.

Rule 42 — Make Sure Your Partner is Always Pleased to See You

Remember the butterflies you had when you first got together? Once the relationship settles, that feeling probably no longer exists. But there should be a replacement: a feeling of happiness each time you see him or her.

When you see them, no matter how unhappy you have been at work, greet them with a smile and ask about their day. If you really need to get your unhappiness off your chest, do it in a more positive manner.

Instead of “I had such a lousy day,” try “It’s nice to be in your arms after the day I had.”

Reflection: It gives you a reason for living, to be able to bring that much joy to someone.

Rule 43 — Don’t Dump Responsibility on Your Partner

“It’s all your fault! Told you to book the tickets early, didn’t I?”

Sound familiar? This is dumping responsibility. Before you were in a relationship, you were capable of getting those tickets yourself.

If the issue is really yours or your partner’s alone, the person has to take up the responsibility. Even then, raise it with positive words such as “Let’s see how things can be fixed,” not harsh ones like “I told you so.”

Reflection: Just because you are in a relationship, it does not stop you being an independent person.

Rule 44 — Let Them Know If You Don’t Like Their Friends

Do you like all of your partner’s friends? Probably not, and that is ok.

If you do not quite get along with some, be civic about it and simply let your partner know that when they are hanging out with those friends, you’d like to be excused.

However, if you cannot stand most or all of your partner’s friends, reassess the situation — your partner is after all one of them.

Reflection: They are entitled to whatever friends they like, just as you are.

Rule 45 — Jealousy is Your Stuff, Not Theirs

Jealousy is one of the most corrosive things in a relationship. It can destroy the most excellent relationship — especially if the accused partner is totally innocent.

Your partner is innocent until proven otherwise, and you must trust them. Most reasons for jealousy come from your own history. If your own insecurity is making you into a green-eyed monster, deal with it yourself. Do not blame your partner.

If you are on the receiving end of jealousy, be understanding. Getting touchy and insisting you are totally faithful is right, but can kill the relationship.

Reflection: It is not your partner’s job to tell you where they are all the time.